wonders in the air

1st time hvin a dead blog...hahas...loooks so dark jus like my life....a world of darkness...hopin2find some light 1 day....tinkin and wishin2die....bt my dream jus wdnt cm true...haiz...y...any1can tell me?jus hope2gt luv bt always end up gettin hurt....wad can i do2stop myself from gettin hurt?if i ever hv courage....i wd jump dw like wad my cousin did....bt y...y am i so useless...y didnt i hv enuf courage?

everytime i had a bf....my bf wd neglect me....no matter hw much i care n concern i wd end up gettin hurt....y is dat so....am i reali nt worth any1luv?luving sum1suppose2be hapy bt y mus i always feel e opposite?

always tinkin n tinkin bt nth comes out of my mind...wish2let go bt always nt enuf courage...wish2start afresh bt things always da same.. wen wd be da day i wdnt get hurt agn?sighhs...silence tinkin tinkin tinkin....wen wd i ever get an ans o.o...

y cant my life be so colorful like rainbow...dere r so many yyyyys....wich day wil i ever gt2figure dem out...wil it be da day wen im gone or dere wd be miracles happening....sighhhs mi reali wan shooo away from darknesss....had been suffering 1yr in silence bt no1kws it....