feelin so tired -.-

hmm hw shd i start...hmm...ok 1st sry4nt bloggin yesterday...hahas...nw i've cm2blog agn lohs...feelin so tired cuz dere r 4days of 8am n only 1day 1pm...many projects n reports r comin...worst is hv2create sumthin4disabled pppl...aiyo...hw wd i kw...i always so lazy2tink of ideas...any1can giv me any ideas...cuz hv2do it4sem proj...arghhh...damnn -.- next week need2giv idea n start developin liao leiis...die liao lahs haizz...

1st day of sch gt homework liao...walao...haizz...3rd yr reali v stress siah...bt lucky e homework is comm skill n i alr hv sumthin in mind2 write abt lohs...else hw2pass up homework next mon...haiz...den 2day gt dss homework..stil need2buy purple color tb lohs...stil rem yr1buy 1 stp maths bk so expensive den bo use de...den nw wan2buy another duno gt use de book anots...haizz...2homework liao bt hven done any... aiyo die liao larzz...duno can make it anot lohss...feel so no confident liao...cuz all sub was nth im interested in...bt mus die die grad lohs else v wasted haizz...

duno y gt sem proj lohs...alr finish fyp liao stil gt another proj...kaoz...most scared is stp vb...damn la...1st lesson alr duno wad teachin liao hw2do tutorials lohs...another stp programmin i hate...bt no choice lohs hv2learn else cant get over it...help ahh...any1can teach me vb...seems so easy bt hw cm i so stp duno hw -.- ...need2work hard liao...headache headache...everyday also so tired...haizz...erp...dss n duno wad all i duno de...hw siah...mayb i only gt interest in comm skill lohs...hahas

nw while bloggin im tinkin hw2do e dss homework without stp tb lohs...haiz...nw jus playin game n relax lohs...llisten music...haizz...

...

2day don feel lik bloggin -.-

1st day of sch

time2blog blog agn liao...hmm...2day was my 1st day of sch n it starts at8am...hahas as usual i wake up at 6.15am....prepared n go sch lohs n guess wad...i reach sch damn early at 7.30siah....alone sittin outside e classroom haha until almost8 den many ppl come....hahas always so early reach sch also duno4wad...guess its a habit cant change liao...hahas...tired tired man...1st lesson was stp visual basics...walao die le lohs...duno even c b4...hw am i gona cope -.-...damn...need2work very hard man!!!

hvin a break at11am to1pm...hahas 2hrs gt nth2do so acc my frd go buy books...bt after reachin dere it was damn hell crowded so we decided later later den go grab e books...so ard 12plus den we went2hv our lunch lohs...after dat is com skills lesson...walao e teacher took so long den cm...we waited so long outside e class n a lecturer saw us outside he asked us2wait inside e other room...almost reeachin2pm finally e teacher came n we started e lesson...well comm skills is quite an interesting sub i guess compared2other crap sub...hahas...

after comm skill is another stp sub ERP again...walao waste time lohs...e teacher said sign attendance den can go off liao...hahas cuz he say hven attend lect so cant do tutorial...lucky release early ahs...cuz i was reali beri tired le...b4 attendin last lesson...i recieve his sms sayin dat he wil confirm wif me whether can go my sch fetch me anot...i din hope4much cuz same things always happen...sighs...wen wil i ever b treated nicely huh...i reali wonder o.o

jus as wad i expected...i recieve sms at 5.59saying dat hv extra work agn...y always lik dis...jus wad m i huh?....i reali wish2kw e ans...sighs..always being neglected...y huh...y did i done wron2deserve all dis crap?nw i jus woke up jiu start bloggin le...cuz i hv no1to share so i cd jus write all my tots n feelings on my diary...im so sick agn...reali wish i can sick n finish it off at once den i wdnt always feel so terrible liao...haiz...


wo dao di suan shen mo???

another hapi day ^^

2day abt 7am jiu yao wake up liao cuz2day is my mum n sis goin overseas n we r goin2sent flight...hahas...7plus ppl jiu disturb n wake us up liao cuz my cousin wil be fetchin us at 8.30am lohs...dere r4aunts n 1sis goin overseas to enjoy demselves4a holiday...as mani things hapen so its time dat dey go relax n fang song yi xia zi ji =D...dey wil be goin abt 2weeks ba...hope dey wil enjoy demselves ba =x...


we reach airport at abt 10plus n every1was hungry so we2find food court2hv breakfast bt who kws...dat damn bloody food court so far away so in e end dey chose2hv breakfast at mac...i jus ate a sausauge burger n a cup of tea...hahas it was ard 11plus le...time4dem2tk e flight liao so we sent dem in n we wave goodbye...after sendin flight...cousin sent us home n it was only 12noon...hahas imagine hw early dat stp flight is...afterall it was e first time i sent flight hahah cuz last time my young sis overseas i also nv go sent flight...hahas...


wen i reach hm things r asusual agn lohs....on my laptop n start playing my lappy...meanwhile i was tinkin...tot i suppose2giv sum1an ans bt hw cm....well mayb...i also duno...hahas...so i jus carry on playing my game lohs...suddenly my bro said he wan eat pizza...guess wad...he v dodohead lei....tell me duno hw2order -.-...kaoz only kw hw2eat duno hw2order...aiyoyo cant believe it...it was my aunt treat cuz 2day oct18 is his bd...hahas so we ordered buy1gt1 free de pizza n sweet honey drumsticks...hahas yum yum =x


here comes e hapi part of e day liao...while waitin4e pizza2cm...guess wad happen?....hahas it was ah boi sms me lei...hehe always saw his sms at9 de...bt2day special....he sms in e afternoon...hahas very hapi recievin his sms lohs =x after smsin awhile i told him i wan nap nap liao cuz later wake upp need2blog...hahas his reply v funi lohs...bt nvm...den i replied lata wake up den sms him norh =D...opps nw i wake up agn bt hven sms him hehe...nvm let him wait wait awhille la...hehe =x



yi lun shun feng mum n sis =p

wad is my final decision

after a bad moood day...time2blogggin agn...hmmm...lets c....after1mth of consideration....time2come up wif an ans wich is my final decision...i hv been tinkin past1mth...tinkin whether shd i go or shd i stay...tml oct18is e day dat i mus cm up wif a final decision alr...so nw while bloggin...i hv alr thought it thru...after listenin2my mum...aunt...cousin...n frds...laopo...kung....i hv cm up wif an ans...bt stil cant be so confirmed yet...cuz i hv tot of many things...sighs...

mayb i shdnt go becuz firstly i don kw him so well n he once done me wron....secondly if i go dere...i wil be so lonely wifout frds n relatives... thirdly i don even kw e location well n as4me im a lu chi....even in singapore i also wil get lost...wad if i go dere n lost n nv cm bak agn?lastly most importantly i hv a fear dat bad things wil hapen2me cuz i heard my frds n laopo tell me abt come bad things dat happen2deir frd...bt frankly saying...i do wish2go2a new environmen bt dere are so much fear i had n im jus so weak2chen shou if things happen...i hv been tinkin n tinkin...

is nt dat i don luv him bt jus dat my fear n my timidness and my negative tot...i reali cant imagined if sumthin mentioned by my frds n laopo wd jus hapen...i might jus cant tk it n end my life...im jus so negative-tinkin....bt i always hoped dat i can be xing fu...so nw i reali tot of droppin e idea of migrating becuz i cdnt assure anything....i cdnt assured dat he wdnt abandon me as in sgp he cdnt even spare his time4me so wad makes me tink dat at sdyney he wil hv time4me...i reali tink alot...i reali hope we cd sit dw n tok....i reali hope he wd spent more time wif me so dat wen he suggest...i don need2tink so much bt haizzz...

i hv been hurt agn n agn so dis time i reali wana make a correct decision....til nw my mind stil v confused...bt4sure i wil tell him wad i hv been tinkin and c wad he hv2say....if wad he says is wad i wanted den i might change my mind...bt if wad he says is nt wad i wanted den i wd wish him find his happiness ba...


FINAL DECISON STIL IN PROCESS OF TINKIN....

reali angry day!!!

time2bloggin agn...hahas...b4 dat was quite a smooth day until play mj time....reali damn angry lohs...bt i shall nt say da details liao ba...cuz reali damn angry...haix....2day don feel like bloggin liao la...damn!!!!no mood at all liaos....

tirin n suay day -.-

woohoo time2bloggie agn liao hahas =x...2day is a beri tiring day4me siah....stil rem i said las9need2wait my baobeii charge finish rite...haha n yeah i waited until 6am...hahas...den slp until10am jiu ppl wake me up le n said wan go buy daily necessarities lohs...walao ppl only slp lik less den 3hrs jiu yao wake up n go shop shop lohs...walao...tink i rather play mj den go stp shoppin lahs -.- play whole9also nvm la...bt if wan me shoppin...i rather stay at hm n play com...hehe...

bt heng lahs....lucky gt car sit la...else wan me go shoppin...rather u kill me la...hahas...10am jiu go hv breakfast...hahas walao u kw la i also don tk breakfast de...bt bo bian la...so jus go n eat lo...n guess wad...mus be i don hv eat breakfast de xi guan so after dat jiu stomache la...kaoz...duno y so suay lorrr....dats y i always also dun wan eat breakfast de...hahas..nw u kw da reason le mahs...hahas...only1day tk breakfast only....my stomach buay happi liao nor -.-...kakaka NO BREAKFAST IS BEZ =X

stil rem even gt car convenient bt all of us r lu chi...hahahs all duno directions de...keep turnin round n round den can reach destination...hahahas v funi rite...sitin in e car of cuz shiok la...hehe...bt dey keep ask me4directions den i jiu duno liao la....hahas i seem so useless horrr....bt bo bian la....im stp de mahs...hahahs....finally we reach marsiling our destination liao....once reached dere...dey start goin2sheng siong n buy wadeva is needed...walao lik goin2pao lu liddat...hahas...bt all is daily use de lahs....so nt called waste lo =x...mum n sis goin overseas liao so we mus zhi sheng zhi mie....wahahahaha!!!

nw tok abt my suay day...angry wif my stp brainless bro....alr told him we bought many things n ask him bring a trolley dw den he beri stubborn empty handed cm dw wen we reached home...walao...so stp lohs -.-...dere is lik10bottles of softlan...4packets of xi yi fen and mani mani heavy things2carry...nb....nv c b4 such stubborn ppl...in e end got2carry all hm lo...den damn it...i gt injured my arm like canot move sia...walao...super suay day lohs....damn it....all my freaking brainless bro fault!!!



ANGRY MAN....DAMN IT!!!

bad day awww -.- bt feel hapi hahas

sry4late bloggin -.-...jus play finish mj so faster cm n blog le.......sowie...2day is a very bad day4me nahs...haix....play mj no luck at all....from win play until lose...wth lohs...haahs bt nvm la...play mj is gt win gt lose de...kakaka...if always lose who wan2play and if always win who wil play wif u....hahahs so gt win gt lose den can make e game fun n exciting ma hehe...hmm i wonder is it late bloggin so i no luck gt promise ppl bt nv do it...awww....sry sum1 -.- nt did it on purpose de wohs =x

hahas finally get welll le....hahas dats y can play mj mahs...else hw2play tong xiao...hahas...meanwhile im waitin4my hp2low batt den i can charge n need2wait3hrs den it can charge finish...aiyoyo....bt nvm...hp is my baobeii i wil wait even im sick or tired de...hehe...stil rem wen i use my baobeiii walao so fast no batt le den i start2wori liao cux baobeii is my life...if it is nt in gd condition den i wil also nt in condition..hahas don ask me y...i also duno...i treasure it more den my life lo....hahahs nw wan my baobeii faster low batt bt til nw also hven low batt...aiyoyo y liddat...hahas...


ok time2tok abt hapi things le...hehe sad things over ^^....oct14 mornin i wake up...guess wad i saw?hahas is mr cuddle sms...hehe i call him dat is cuz he owe me loads of cheesy fries n hugs n sayang....ahah don mistaken o...he is jus my guy frd who i called mr cuddle...hehe stil rem hw we chat lo...he always make me v hapi jus like AH BOI...hahas...everytime tok2dem i wil smile de...duno y...bt hor dis mr cuddle owe me 20th birthday present siah...he say next yr21sr den gib both2me...hahas...v funi rite...bt nvm...i wil wait...hehe...i was hapi cuz finally after so many sms n msn msg he replied le n sumore say miss wo leiii...keke...hen kai xing ahs =x...bt hor he stil owe me dozens n millions of cheese fries neh -.-...zhen tao yan...humpfff


ok finally nw my hp bo batt liao....nw nid2wait3hrs den it charge finish...hahas...ok carry on wif hapi things ba...wahahah...2day veri hapi2recieve ah boi sms...hahas while playin mj he sent me sms...i keep laughin until ppl ask me is it sot alr...hahas bt nvm who cares i live in my world...go mad also my prob...hahas...sms so long wif ah boi...nv did i feel so hapi b4...hhaahs every word he said 2day jus make me smile...ahah bt content im nt gona say of cuz...only he kw i kw...hehe...bt he always tv tv tv de...tao yan nah -.-...ahas glad2kw him as ah boi...ahah...don mistaken....dis also nt my bf...hahahs....


Both of u rox miii lonely world man!!!hehehe =x

sick sick sick -.-

time2blog agn...haiz...2day is a sicky day4me agn....stp flu and sore eyes cm find me agn -.- make me until beri xin ku lahs...haizz...wan slp also cant...lie dw only tap start2on -.- damnn...hate stp flu always cm find me!!!stp flu make me used up so many tissue paper...like my nose is dropping liao...look lik a clown lo...nose so damn red -.-...almost every mth stp flu wil cm find me wan...y is dat so huh...y i so weak huh...y every mth need2sick once o.o

stil rem wen i was young every mth hv2go stp hospital n stay 4weeks man...is it dat reason dat caused me2be so weak4ever???mayb dats y nw i sick i also don wan c doc or eat med liao...hahas cuz i kw none wd work4me man!!!tok abt c doc...stil rem dat time stp attachmen me jus gt runnin nose only kena chased back home...dats stil nt so worst....more worst is being forced2c stp doc n cmes e most worst part liao...me go c doc...doc asked me y i no illness so healthy go c him -.-...so lame rite...den my replied was being forced den doc also laughed n giv me coughin med plus2days MC...hahas =D

im nw feeling so sick while bloggin...damn...duno hw long dis stp flu wil last man -.-...i rather fever den flu lohs....cough also nt bad bt stp flu is e worst...flu make me cant lie dw...once lie dw...tap wd on non-stop...at9sure cant slp well de lo...so i choose nt2slp...cuz only wen sittin up tap wdnt on...weird isnt it...don ask me y...cuz i also duno y is it so funi...hahas...cough at least gt nice sweet can eat...hahas bt flu only gt a med after eat le wil becm dizzy de...so dats y i don tk any med lohs...cuz med wil only worsen my condition...hahas =x



sory sum1...2day beri sick cant blog very long...very xin ku -.-

hmm...

alrite time2blog agn...hmm wads my feeling nw...ahem ahem....feelings so messed up agn...hahas...everyday i also feeling confused neh duno y...haha mayb cuz i don hv an exact ans in my mind rite nw...ahem ahem...tinkin next week oct18need2giv an ans liao jiu feeling very messed up feelings....hahas...nv did i feel so confused ever in my life neh -.-

everyday tinkin of wad wil hapen after i made dat decision...hahas am i very silly o.o...sumtimes making a decision is jus so headache lahh..y do i hv2make a decision...everyday in my life jus online play game n chattin on msn...aiyo....bored until sianz ahs bt lucky next week sch starts liao...don hv2rot at hm liao...bt tinkin confirm beri stressful nor -.- last yr projects sure stacked like yi zuo shan ahh!!!

since1st yr i hv been strugglin on dis stp course MANUFACTURING ENGINEERING....reason i tk dis stp coz is becuz my o lvl flung badly n i didnt get e result dat i expected so i tot of jus anyhw choose a course2study cuz getting a diploma is beri important mahs...den hor stp stp choose dis course where gt physics de....which i always failed in my sec sch...hahas reali wonder hw did i survive throughout dis stp stp course...hahas..finally stp last sem le....hope i can go through it successfully ba...bt glad dat my fyp gt an A...hehe at least my hardwork pays off...kakaka =x

fliping through e stp stp books...walao...don even understan a thing man...damn....hw am i gona pull through dis last stp stp sem...haizz..stil gt1more sem project mus do walao...mani mani projects and reports gona cm...getin more n more headache liao...hahas bt im sure i can do it...follow nike....JUS DO IT....hahahs...ok ending blog here...hehe...




JUS DO IT =]] I CAN MAKE IT =X

useless me -.-

hmmm wad shd i write2day o.o....hmmm so many things is in my mind making mi so confused....hving a big decision2make bt i duno wad shd i do...dis decision concerns my happiness...bt....haizzz...i reali duno hw2make dis SUPER IMPORTANT jue ding!!!damit -.- hw shd i make a nt wron decision...hhaizz....headache arghhhh!!!
if i reali make a wrong decision...my life wd be ruined....bt i don hv an ans in my brainless mind...bt nth is impossible and i cdnt predict whether wad i chose was correct or wron o.o...choices r so hard2make....especially if a wron decision is made....damnnnn...y in life hv2made choice....y cant things cm e way it is...sighhhhs!!!
wad shd i do o.o....i hv been tinkin dis qs 4 abt 1mth liew bt stil unable2get2a conclusion...y cant i even understan myself?wad do i reali wan in life i also hv no idea abt it....lidat hw can i go understan ppl...wahlao...si bei useless lei me....if i ever had a choice...i wd choose nt2hv any memory so wdnt make myself feel so terrible...feeeling hurt over things dat is nt worth...haiz reali beri useless...
shd i leave or shd i stay...reali beri difficult2make dis choice...haizz...wish2go bt gt things i cant let go...wahlao...reali beri headache leii...can heaven lead mi a direction or tell me wich choice is da bez -.-...


wo ke yi you yi ge da an ma???

mani tots

well 2day jus sick so din go4work...wonder y i always sick...is it cuz i don care abt my self....or im born2be dat weak...hahahs....always tinkin y i keep sick bt nv did i hv an ans....wahahahha =x....
stayin at hm n playin com whole day long....playing game i saw a guy who once luved mi n he tok2me....he said missin mi alot...i wonder y he said dat....bt i din feel as hapi as i first knew him....hahas....mayb wen feelings is gone,it wil nv be bak =]]...
tinkin n lookin at his sms reali beri sweet...bt feelings jus nt same anymore...mayb it doesnt mean anything2me liao ba =D...things r always dis way...wen i don like sum1he wd treat me beri nice bt once i started2like him...things wil always change...reali wonder y leii....is it fated2be dat way mahs?
so mani tots...bt cant possibly write dem out ba...always prefer2keep everything2myself cuz dere is no1i cd tok2...so e only way is tok2my dearest baobeii lohs....bt it cant respond me de...hahas...weird rite...bt dats hw i am lohs...everytime sum1said i cd share wif dem bt wen things hapen...all jus disappear....aha y is dat so...y ppl luv2giv empty promises lei...nan dao da ying ren you zuo bu dao hen hao wan ma hai shi wo xiang ge sha gua hen hao pian ne o.o


HAO XIANG FANG QI YI QIE...FANG QI....FANG QI....FANG QI....

wonders in the air

1st time hvin a dead blog...hahas...loooks so dark jus like my life....a world of darkness...hopin2find some light 1 day....tinkin and wishin2die....bt my dream jus wdnt cm true...haiz...y...any1can tell me?jus hope2gt luv bt always end up gettin hurt....wad can i do2stop myself from gettin hurt?if i ever hv courage....i wd jump dw like wad my cousin did....bt y...y am i so useless...y didnt i hv enuf courage?

everytime i had a bf....my bf wd neglect me....no matter hw much i care n concern i wd end up gettin hurt....y is dat so....am i reali nt worth any1luv?luving sum1suppose2be hapy bt y mus i always feel e opposite?

always tinkin n tinkin bt nth comes out of my mind...wish2let go bt always nt enuf courage...wish2start afresh bt things always da same.. wen wd be da day i wdnt get hurt agn?sighhs...silence tinkin tinkin tinkin....wen wd i ever get an ans o.o...

y cant my life be so colorful like rainbow...dere r so many yyyyys....wich day wil i ever gt2figure dem out...wil it be da day wen im gone or dere wd be miracles happening....sighhhs mi reali wan shooo away from darknesss....had been suffering 1yr in silence bt no1kws it....